A Woman’s Conditioned Mind
A woman’s conditioned mind is hard to escape. Being a woman, I’ve learned that the idea of “love” was deeply engraved in my subconscious as a young girl and as a woman today it is still part of me. Although, I continue to beam my light of consciousness and awareness on it, it continues to run and live within me. For most women, the idea of wearing a white dress and walking down the aisle as the prince charming awaits with a smile on his face is somewhat a dream instilled in us from a very young age.
Marriage is a word women begin to learn about from as young as 8 years old. We are programmed to feel the need to be loved, the need to feel we are special and the need to be wanted by a man and ultimately, to become the end all be all of his kingdom.
Being on this self-discovery journey is exactly that….a journey. As a search to feel whole, I sometimes struggle with my feelings. I've realized although, I am confident and know my worth, I am still a woman with a conditioned mind. A conditioned mind that I continue to unfold and untangle in hopes of finding my true self. I am aware that the word "woman" and “love” have an undeniable common denominator that we as woman need to further understand. No matter where we come from, what country, economic background or education level, somehow our attachment to the idea of love is very similar.
As I grow and continue to find myself, I want to be able to decipher when the need for love is just a human instinct and me in my natural nurturing self versus when it feels like a void that is unhealthy and can only be satisfied by a man's love. I want to be as sure and clear about my idea of “love” as I am about every other area of my life.
I profoundly believe in love and true pure love. A connection that is genuine, kind, gentle but also has its hardships that ultimately lead to beautiful growth and bond between two beings. I have learned that for two souls to align in a way that it sustains all of life’s obstacles, both souls need to be clear. Clear on what a companionship is outside of what we see on TV, Novelas, Disney movies and reality television. I am lover, and the percentage of divorces in the US was a disheartening fact until I began to understand that we as the human race aren’t doing enough inner work. If you aren’t aware of who you truly are, how can I really know who I am marrying? How is that a sustainable relationship when I don't own or understand my flaws? How can I know the being I am in love with isn't a false projection of who you are? Am I in love with you or just a mirror of what society has taught you to be?
Becoming clear on love has been my focus for a couple months now. I am learning to be clear in a way that I am wholeheartedly who I was intended to be by my creator. I am learning to align my personality with my divine powerful self (soul).
& I suggest you do the same. Both males and females. But most importantly, my queens, who are lovers. Please start understanding what love means to you vs. what society has told you it is and has to be. Love passionately but first understand what love is. Not that fairy tale love, or the love that hurts you. If you want love, learn more about yourself, your worth and your being. Love starts with you.
This was the first stage of my love journey and boy have I learned a lot. Social constructs were created by humans but we're more than just humans, we are soul. Listen to your core and ask it the right questions. Continue to grow into yourself and most importantly learn to LOVE that person (un)conditionally.
Peace & Love
Listed below are some questions that I have answered that has shed light on a lot.
What is love? Your definition; spend time on this one.
What does love mean to you?
Where and from whom have you received the purest truest feeling of what you believe love to be?
Is that what you have received in your previous or current companionship?
Why or why not? Have you demanded it, or have you only continuously given unlimited amount of it expecting it back?
What does the man that deserves you, look, smell, talk, dress and feel like? Settling is bullshit, don’t do it
Do you deserve that amazing man you described above? Keep growing and make sure of it