With time, I age. With time, I lose but learn. With time, I grow more into whatever "she" is meant to be. The more layers I find, the more layers grow. I am the result of my experiences, relationships, conversations, interactions and environment. Hundreds and thousands of people have imprinted on me. And although, some have left a deeper imprint than others, I still uncover little marks left on the surface.
With time, I learn that the people you allow to see your mind, body, and soul becomes a piece of it. With time, I distance myself. I didn’t choose every imprint. Some I allowed in but others were sent to me.
What I’m saying is … be careful what imprints you’re allowing to be stamped on your mind, body, and soul. Some imprints move you slightly off course while other completely change the trajectory of your life. The change isn’t always bad but doesn’t mean its good either.
Friends, Companions, and Family members are so important to our evolution of self. The words and actions these other human beings share with us can’t ever be taken back. Some words cause you to doubt your power, love, and choices, while others give you a nostalgia you can’t put into words.
I ask, how can five little words mean so much? How can one action completely crush my spirit while three words like a simple “I love you” sound like such sweet whispers?
One sector of the three was given to us, our family. The other two is situational. Some friends and partners are given to us but others we chose and even when it no longer serves us, we choose to continue to hold on to it. Don’t be fearful but please be careful.
Every interaction is now a new layer of you.
The childhood layers are the foundation. That’s when I laid my head on my mother’s chest for the first time and experienced what I define as love. That’s when I became an alpha female. See, my mother was alone raising four young girls. If I didn’t quickly transform, a predator would sense that our family lacked male energy. I will always be in my masculinity around my family. Our interactions and experience has molded me to be a protector and provider.
The friend layers are vital. That’s when I learned to respect and love an outsider. That’s when I struggled with ego but had humbling exposure to loss and love. I said words and left imprints I didn’t mean too. After so many losses, I yearned for connection. I replayed videos stored in my subconscious of me being someone I wasn’t. See, I had to learn I am nothing without friends. I learned that friends are family but with different lessons. From long teary conversations, I became a humble friend.
The partner layer is the outer core; these layers are created later in life. I thought if maybe I had the other two layers understood, deciphered and in control, nothing could shake me. But boy, did I learn. My foundation is there, at my core I will never change. A tree can be shaken but it will continue to stand strong if the foundation is there. Take every relationship, as new layers of you you are willing to spend time with. See, I was a blind lover; I didn’t think my partners could leave an imprint because I am such a strong woman. But I learned different. Every word said and action taken can’t ever be taken back once it hits the surface. I have new layers created I have to carry with me. Choose wisely.
Love deeply but love carefully and that goes for every sector.
Layers are beautiful when they are filled with love, laughs and romance.
Layers are internal battles when they are filled with doubt, loss and misunderstanding.
Imprints will mold your inner world.
Be careful what you’re imprinting on others.
But most importantly, be careful whom you are allowing to imprint on you.